Parenting Help For Child Behavior Problems And Kid's Not Listening
07/Jan/09 16:46 Filed in: News
What's the BEST parenting tool I've given you that
you've been using for getting your child to listen to
you or to turn around a behavior problem?
I'm going to be giving away an amazing package of parenting help (worth over $1000) that will reduce your child's defiance and behavior problems by 50-75%.
For the details and guidelines to the contest and to watch a quick video go to the link below...
Win Parenting Help Giveaway
Go ahead and leave a detailed comment about what's helped you so far and you could be well rewarded.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Rosie
PS. This is an amazing chance to get the parent coaching, information and support you need to raise a happy, cooperative and well-adjusted child, so go here now:
Win Parenting Help Giveaway
PSS. If this was delivered to you through email, then you may have to copy and paste the link below into your browser:
http://blog.positiveparentinghappykids.com/2009/01/win-free-child-behavior-help-for-how-to-get-your-child-to-listen-to-you/
I'm going to be giving away an amazing package of parenting help (worth over $1000) that will reduce your child's defiance and behavior problems by 50-75%.
For the details and guidelines to the contest and to watch a quick video go to the link below...
Win Parenting Help Giveaway
Go ahead and leave a detailed comment about what's helped you so far and you could be well rewarded.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Rosie
PS. This is an amazing chance to get the parent coaching, information and support you need to raise a happy, cooperative and well-adjusted child, so go here now:
Win Parenting Help Giveaway
PSS. If this was delivered to you through email, then you may have to copy and paste the link below into your browser:
http://blog.positiveparentinghappykids.com/2009/01/win-free-child-behavior-help-for-how-to-get-your-child-to-listen-to-you/
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How To Survive Toddler Temper Tantrums
02/Dec/08 13:28 Filed in: Child
Behavior
Have you ever been confused by your toddler's tantrums?
Do the tantrums seem to come out of nowhere sometimes?
Maybe you set a limit with your child and all hades breaks loose. Or his cookie breaks and you'd have thought that the world is coming to an end by the way he's screaming and kicking. Or the broccoli on her plate touches the potatoes and you wonder if the neighbors are going to call the cops due to the noise of her tantrum?
Well, I can certainly relate.
Do you know what to do when your toddler has a tantrum?
While toddler tantrums are usually brought on by frustration of not having developed enough physical skills, there is another common reason...
Overload.
Most of us explode due to overload at some time or another.
Let's take a common example:
You walk into the bathroom and the toilet seat is up. You start yelling about the toilet seat and criticizing the guys in the house, saying things like "They'll never learn" etc...
But it's not about the toilet seat AT ALL.
It's about the fight you had with your husband last night. Or how you've had it with your boss and her demands. Or the extra $50 service charge you had to pay unexpectedly.
Most of the time when the toilet seat is up you may find it slightly annoying, but you just put it down, realizing it doesn't happened all the time and go on about your merry way. But every once in a while it is enough to set you off.
At least, if you're anything like me that is.
Well, it's the same with toddlers and older children. They hear a 1000 no's a day, and I don't know ANYONE who likes to hear NO, child or adult. They are constantly being stopped from doing something they want to do that is fun for them. Or they have share mommy or daddy with someone else when they don't want to.
The problem doubles when our children's strong emotions produce strong emotions in us, too. And the toddler tantrum turns into a mom tantrum.
We think we either have to stop the tantrum, "get control" of our child's behavior, or fix the problem.
Often, it's none of these that our child needs in the moment. And none of these things will make it better.
Sometimes they just need us to listen while they release pent up frustrations and help them regulate themselves, without creating more stress for them.
Well, how do you do that you ask. Here is a simple formula:
So right now, bring to mind how you could use these three simple steps the next time your toddler has a tantrum. Imagine yourself as the "eye of the storm." What would it take for you to do that? Does understanding what's going on help? Maybe you need more support for your own venting? OR more parenting and communication skills?
You can absolutely learn how to communicate with your child in way that helps them grow up to be a happy, well-adjusted adult. Learning these skills are especially important for feeling confident in your ability to parent.
Go ahead and leave me a comment below to tell me how I can help more or to ask any questions.
If you haven’t already signed up for my newsletter and your Free Report on "How To Get Kids To Listen The First Time" and the "Top 10 Mistakes Most Parents Make With Their Child’s Behavior" go to Free Report On Child Behavior
"Talk Soon"
Rosie
Maybe you set a limit with your child and all hades breaks loose. Or his cookie breaks and you'd have thought that the world is coming to an end by the way he's screaming and kicking. Or the broccoli on her plate touches the potatoes and you wonder if the neighbors are going to call the cops due to the noise of her tantrum?
Well, I can certainly relate.
Do you know what to do when your toddler has a tantrum?
While toddler tantrums are usually brought on by frustration of not having developed enough physical skills, there is another common reason...
Overload.
Most of us explode due to overload at some time or another.
Let's take a common example:
You walk into the bathroom and the toilet seat is up. You start yelling about the toilet seat and criticizing the guys in the house, saying things like "They'll never learn" etc...
But it's not about the toilet seat AT ALL.
It's about the fight you had with your husband last night. Or how you've had it with your boss and her demands. Or the extra $50 service charge you had to pay unexpectedly.
Most of the time when the toilet seat is up you may find it slightly annoying, but you just put it down, realizing it doesn't happened all the time and go on about your merry way. But every once in a while it is enough to set you off.
At least, if you're anything like me that is.
Well, it's the same with toddlers and older children. They hear a 1000 no's a day, and I don't know ANYONE who likes to hear NO, child or adult. They are constantly being stopped from doing something they want to do that is fun for them. Or they have share mommy or daddy with someone else when they don't want to.
The problem doubles when our children's strong emotions produce strong emotions in us, too. And the toddler tantrum turns into a mom tantrum.
We think we either have to stop the tantrum, "get control" of our child's behavior, or fix the problem.
Often, it's none of these that our child needs in the moment. And none of these things will make it better.
Sometimes they just need us to listen while they release pent up frustrations and help them regulate themselves, without creating more stress for them.
Well, how do you do that you ask. Here is a simple formula:
- Stay close to your child and listen to them let it all out. Make sure they can't hurt themselves, others, or property. You can provide comfort with out dismissing their feelings by just nodding at them to show you understand or gently touching them, if they want that. Do NOT tell them that they're "OK." They are obviously NOT OK at that moment. For toddlers who are having a tantrum you can say, "You didn't like that, did you?" and "Would you like a hug?"
- Stay calm yourself. Children count on us to help them learn how to regulate their strong emotions and calm themselves. When we start yelling or trying to control them it can make matters worse. Remember that you are helping you child learn the extremely valuable skill of self-regulation when you stay calm yourself. This skill will take them far in life. If you have to, count to 10 before you say anything or breathe deeply yourself. Believe it or not, just a calm mom and some understanding will calm a child who is out of control. But the pent up emotions and tears may need to come out first. You don't want them to come out later as aggression, defiance, talking back or other behavior problems.
- Don't Try to "fix" the "un-fixable." Remember that it isn't about the "cookie," "broccoli" or whatever else set it off, so even if you could put the cookie back together it won't help. And it won't do us any good to try to "fix" every frustration that our child comes up against. Some things in life just need to be accepted. Often crying is part of the process of accepting life's limitations. Don't prolong this acceptance by trying to bend over backwards to stop the child from accepting what's happened. Hugs and understanding words are much more effective.
So right now, bring to mind how you could use these three simple steps the next time your toddler has a tantrum. Imagine yourself as the "eye of the storm." What would it take for you to do that? Does understanding what's going on help? Maybe you need more support for your own venting? OR more parenting and communication skills?
You can absolutely learn how to communicate with your child in way that helps them grow up to be a happy, well-adjusted adult. Learning these skills are especially important for feeling confident in your ability to parent.
Go ahead and leave me a comment below to tell me how I can help more or to ask any questions.
If you haven’t already signed up for my newsletter and your Free Report on "How To Get Kids To Listen The First Time" and the "Top 10 Mistakes Most Parents Make With Their Child’s Behavior" go to Free Report On Child Behavior
"Talk Soon"
Rosie
Child Behavior And Economic Pressures
20/Nov/08 19:24 Filed in: Child
Behavior
by Rosie Blitchington
Centeno
Can the economic downturn effect your child’s behavior? Can your child’s behavior problems get worse because you are worrying about your financial situation? Can financial problems even create behavior problems?
Absolutely. So what’s the connection?
The real reason why this happens is simply stress.
Economic problems create massive amounts of stress. Parents are stressed. Stressed parents create stressed kids. Stress shows up in kids as behavior problems. But it can also show up as language problems, focus problems and learning problems.
According to a research study released to the American Association For The Advancement of Science in Feb. 2008 on families who were under stress brought on by poverty, the underlying cause of the children’s problems were due to this toxic stress at home.
Behavior problems and learning problems then aren’t a result of financial crisis, exactly. Instead, they are a result of the stress parents are under and how they related to their children due to that stress.
So problems in the economy can easily translate to child behavior problems in your home.
So the big question is: Can you “recession-proof” your child and your family?
Again, the answer is absolutely.
The researchers found the single most important factor in helping families under this toxic stress was to make sure these parents had good parenting skills. They gave these parents an 8 week class on how to better communicate with their kids.
Specifically, the parents learned how to communicate with kids effectively and reduce power struggles.
What they found was that the children’s behavior, IQ and ability to learn was turned around by changing how the parents related to them at home.
In addition, this report again supports a parenting style that understands kids can’t learn the right behavior when they are under stress.
This was exactly my experience. My family was under a lot of stress and my child began hitting, kicking an biting me, other kids and babies. And because of the stress I was under, I was yelling at her. Things just spiraled downward from there.
The bottom line was my yelling created more and more aggression and other behavior problems in my child.
And the problem was solved in a similar way…
I got a parenting mentor, who taught me exactly what was going on and HOW to turn it around and do things differently. I went out and learned the parenting and communication skills and tools I needed.
The yelling and behavior problems in my house have turned into giggles, hugs and kisses. The power struggles have disappeared.
Since then, I’ve put all my knowledge together and came up with a simple system to help other moms to get kids to listen to them, set limits and turn around behavior problems without yelling, threatening or punishing.
And I’ve been teaching other moms my system and they’ve been getting the same results.
So what can you do right now to help your child and yourself?
If you haven’t already signed up for my newsletter and your Free Report on the Top 10 Mistakes Most Parents Make With Their Child’s Behavior go to Free Report On Child Behavior
Talk soon,
Rosie
Can the economic downturn effect your child’s behavior? Can your child’s behavior problems get worse because you are worrying about your financial situation? Can financial problems even create behavior problems?
Absolutely. So what’s the connection?
The real reason why this happens is simply stress.
Economic problems create massive amounts of stress. Parents are stressed. Stressed parents create stressed kids. Stress shows up in kids as behavior problems. But it can also show up as language problems, focus problems and learning problems.
According to a research study released to the American Association For The Advancement of Science in Feb. 2008 on families who were under stress brought on by poverty, the underlying cause of the children’s problems were due to this toxic stress at home.
Behavior problems and learning problems then aren’t a result of financial crisis, exactly. Instead, they are a result of the stress parents are under and how they related to their children due to that stress.
So problems in the economy can easily translate to child behavior problems in your home.
So the big question is: Can you “recession-proof” your child and your family?
Again, the answer is absolutely.
The researchers found the single most important factor in helping families under this toxic stress was to make sure these parents had good parenting skills. They gave these parents an 8 week class on how to better communicate with their kids.
Specifically, the parents learned how to communicate with kids effectively and reduce power struggles.
What they found was that the children’s behavior, IQ and ability to learn was turned around by changing how the parents related to them at home.
In addition, this report again supports a parenting style that understands kids can’t learn the right behavior when they are under stress.
This was exactly my experience. My family was under a lot of stress and my child began hitting, kicking an biting me, other kids and babies. And because of the stress I was under, I was yelling at her. Things just spiraled downward from there.
The bottom line was my yelling created more and more aggression and other behavior problems in my child.
And the problem was solved in a similar way…
I got a parenting mentor, who taught me exactly what was going on and HOW to turn it around and do things differently. I went out and learned the parenting and communication skills and tools I needed.
The yelling and behavior problems in my house have turned into giggles, hugs and kisses. The power struggles have disappeared.
Since then, I’ve put all my knowledge together and came up with a simple system to help other moms to get kids to listen to them, set limits and turn around behavior problems without yelling, threatening or punishing.
And I’ve been teaching other moms my system and they’ve been getting the same results.
So what can you do right now to help your child and yourself?
- Reduce your stress. Do what ever it takes so you’re not yelling at your children or becoming so preoccupied with your worries that you aren’t paying attention to them. Exercise, lavender baths, talking with someone supportive (this doesn’t count if the person causes you more stress). Do what ever it takes to reduce your stress.
- Set aside time for 20 minutes of unstructured play with your children every day. Basically do whatever your child wants to do to connect with you. This is a time for having fun together and building your relationship not teaching, correcting, or “Good Jobbing” them.
- Get Parenting Help and Better Communication Skills. An investment in your family made in this way will be well worth it in the long run. Even if it means cutting out a toy or two for Christmas or eating at home more. This is an investment that could not only save you tons of headaches and heartaches in the future by turning around your child’s behavior problems, but also save you the financial cost these problems are likely to bring.
If you haven’t already signed up for my newsletter and your Free Report on the Top 10 Mistakes Most Parents Make With Their Child’s Behavior go to Free Report On Child Behavior
Talk soon,
Rosie