by Rosie Blitchington Centeno


moon playing peek-a-boo

My daughter and I were out tonight enjoying this mild NYC August summer evening and the night was just ripe for the making of a HEART MEMORY™

A huge moon played peek-a-boo with us from behind the clouds.
The air temperature kissed my skin.
My daughter's musical laughter and squeals of excitement filled my ears.
She smelled like a mid-summer night's dream.
I could still taste the fresh "juice" we just drank from the center of a green coconut.

Yeah, So WHAT am I talking about?

Well, a HEART MEMORY™ is one of those highlights in our lives (especially with our kids) that we are liable to miss if we aren't paying attention.

If you've been to one of my more recent workshops or worked with me privately then you probably know what a HEART MEMORY is...

And how AMAZING it feels.

If not, here's a peek at it...

Do you ever wish you knew the secret of how to STOP yelling at your kids?

Well, the HEART MEMORY™ is a tool to help moms stop yelling and doing all sorts of things that we mess up and do and then regret.

I'm so excited about it because it WORKS.

After I created it, I started running into all sorts of cutting-edge brain research that explains exactly why it works.

I have even been contacting some of the researchers and setting up interviews to "pick their brains" about it and to see how I can help them get their work out there to all the people that it will help.

(Sorry about that pun--just too much to resist ;)

Stay tuned because...

I'm about the launch the site heartmemory.com, with all the details including: What it is, Why it works, How to use it, How to create them, etc...

I want you to have tools that you can use right away to help you in your relationships with your kids.

You can share your heart memories there also, so go ahead and get 'em ready.

Tags: Parenting tips, Parenting help, Communication, Child's eyes, Parenting toddlers, Joy, Leadership through love

Are you worried that you will repeat the same patterns with your kids that cause you problems with your parents and others? Are you afraid that you are going to make the same mistakes in your family that your parents did?

Or maybe you already see yourself doing just that even though you don't want to. And you know how it will affect your kid's happiness and well-being.

Does your children's behavior sometime drive you crazy and you don't know what to do?
And you feel like you've tried everything and nothing works?

Do you ever read books about parenting and think:
"Yeah, but I wish I could ask the author about my specific situation" Or
"I wish I could tell the author what I'm going through..."


be the one to stop repeating the pattern...

Well, now is your chance...

See, I am writing a book about how to simplify parenting and get the results you want in your family. And I want to make sure I cover the most important things on your mind.

So I'd like to have a short talk with you to find out more about what you are going through as you raise your kids.

This will help me write a book that is both comprehensive and will clearly help moms like you NOT repeat those same damaging patterns.

But here's the cool part...

I know you are struggling with some of your decisions as a parent (as I certainly have!) and it is a passion of mine to help parents STOP doubting themselves. I want you to know that you are doing what it takes to give your kids the best in life. I want to make sure you have the simple, practical tools you need to do just that.

So If you are willing to share your situation, questions and struggles with me, I am going to give you a FREE copy of my book. This way I can better support you to parent in way that really works.

It's my way of thanking you for helping me make sure I make the best book about parenting that works for both you and your child.

Would you like to join me for a chat so I can learn more about what you're going through and I can give you a FREE copy of my book when it's ready?

If so, Just click here and send me an email so we can get started.

If you respond by Tuesday, August 12, I will give you a free copy of my book when it is finished and you will take away some very effective, practical parenting tools from our chat.

BTW...

• I will not use your name, ever.
• I will change your name and any identifying information if I use any of your story.
• I will keep all of the info strictly confidential as part of my ethics and confidentiality pledge.
• I will only add you to my email list if you go to my home page and fill in the request form.

I will contact you, though, when I am done to give you your free copy.

I appreciate your willingness to share your story.

Tags: Parenting help, Parenting tips, Kids

by Rosie Blitchington Centeno


as happy as a kid in a cabbage patch?

I have been thinking of writing a post on kids and eating and then changed my mind as it seemed like a tangent away from my focus. But guess what? A recently released research study proved that it is right on topic.

They found the indicator for having kids who eat well was modeling the behavior. That's right--It's not a free-for-all permissiveness, where kids eat whatever they want when they want nor is it authoritarian control, which they describe as "banning certain foods, for instance, or using pressure to get them to eat fruits and vegetables."

The most effective way for parents to have kids who learn how to eat healthful diets is to set some limits and eat that way themselves.

This is somewhat intuitive if you know about how children learn everything in life and how they develop and bond to their caregivers. But some of us, who weren't raised that way, sometimes need to reprogram ourselves, especially with media and many of the people around us unaware of these dynamics.

Let me tell you--I did not learn how to eat healthy from my family or culture. But I decided to reprogram myself and then give my child the advantage of growing up that way, because I knew how challenging it was to overcome eating habits learned in childhood.

Some ideas I use from my child's babyhood on:

• Believe It is possible for kid's to learn to eat well and enjoy it.
• Connect with child while providing food. To create pleasant eating experiences feed children while touching, making eye contact, smiling and a slight "yes" nod of the head. Humans are social and the sharing and giving of food is a nurturing behavior and a basic way to create a bond with a child.

• Make sure you offer hugs or other forms of nurturing to a child who is upset instead of always offering food.

• Use very little processed foods. For us, this included commercial baby foods and many of the prepared snacks that are common to give babies, toddlers and kids. And no, I didn't elaborately prepare my own baby food. While I hold that as a lovely idea, it just wasn't high on my priority list as a single mom with the resources available to me. What I did was get a bit creative using the foods that I ate myself, which could be prepared baby and toddler. And I trusted my baby to explore food and eat as her body told her to without me forcing or cajoling.
• Use food with very little additives. Become a label reader to avoid chemicals and especially high fructose corn syrup.
• Use food that is as close to natural state as possible as snacks. Broccoli florets, carrot sticks, edamame, hard-boiled eggs, corn on the cob (cooked or raw), cherry tomatoes, skinless and boneless sardines, watermelon, etc...
• Take those snacks outside. Often kids will eat foods outside that they won't consider at the table.
• Use very little processed sugar. I'm always looking for alternatives. There are a lot out there. (Look for my next post for some great summer ideas)

Tags: Parenting help, Parenting tips, Parenting toddlers, Communication, Natural family living, Values

by Rosie Blitchington Centeno

I ran across this video recently and thought I'd share it with since I've been so absent lately and I wanted to connect and give you something really valuable.
(The Childcare situation is resolved)



Boy, she sure does make it look easy and natural.

In the comments section below this video, I noticed a recurring theme that many parents I work with (and yes, I totally admit it, me at times) act from--The misguided notion that it just takes too much time to communicate in a way that connects us with our children. I've personally seen this land mine of an idea explode all over my own living room on more that one occasion.

Let me introduce you to one of what I like to think of as the Natural Laws of Parenting:
Put The Time In Now Or Put The Time In Later

The Natural Laws are just how life and human nature work. Often in our culture these Natural Laws appear paradoxical and can confuse us. But when we know and accept natural laws, working with them instead of against them, then our lives become:

• easier
• happier
• more fun
• more enjoyable
• more connected
• less stressful

and that is just a few of the benefits.

I'd love to hear from you in the comments below. If you are viewing this in your email, just click the title above and it will take to the post with the comments section.

Tags: Parenting help, Parenting tips, Communication, Leadership through love

by Rosie Blitchington Centeno


wisteria blooming in inwood, just for you

I wrote the piece below last year on Mother's Day. Since we are experiencing a childcare challenge right now, I thought I would share it while putting my Simplify, Simplify, Simplify Tool to use.

Anytime families face challenges, transitions and/or any other issues that can set them whirling out of success, The Simplify Tool is the first one to pull out of the box. (Also, I wanted you to know what's going on so you would know I haven't been ignoring you. I've been itching to post, so it hasn't been from lack of desire that I've been absent.)

And I want to appreciate all of my amazing mommy friends who have been supporting me now and in the past when I have been in similar situations. May you all and everyone reading have a joyful Mother's Day, regardless of circumstance!

MOTHER'S DAY 2007

I spent my Mother's Day alone with my 15-month old daughter and I loved it.

In fact, this experience turned around my idea of what Mother's Day is all about. I guess I'd never really thought about it before, but just sort fell in with the notion that Mother's Day was when moms don't cook, wash dishes, feed the cat, feed the fish, feed the kids, etc. Instead, family takes care of that stuff and mother receives.

That wasn't my experience today. My daughter is my family and while she does feed me by shoving veggie booty in my mouth when she decides I should have some, its not quite the same as the receiving of a meal.

Today I "chopped wood and carried water" (as in “Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water” the Zen proverb that speaks to changes in perception and finding inner peace in the mundane). I've had a change of heart about what I value in a Mother's Day celebration.

Instead of being on the receiving end of gratitude for all that I do as a mom, I gave thanks for the opportunity to be a gentle, loving, empathetic mother. I decided to enjoy every mundane moment, and there are quite a few in the life of single mother and young child.

I have so much joy in my heart that my child is in my life, though my intention had been to give her (and myself) a different family experience. Regardless, I spent the day in gratitude and joy. That doesn't mean that I denied the sadness, just that I can acknowledge it, provide myself with empathy and then move on to enjoy every minute of mothering this precious being who has joined me.

In doing so, I model for her, as Magical Child author Joseph Chilton Pearce said, by becoming the kind of person I want her to be.

Tags: Parenting perspectives, Parenting help, Parenting tips, Joy, Values, Celebrations, Leadership through love

by Rosie Blitchington Centeno


how's that for cooperation? twice the toothbrushing

No matter what it is, kid's want it to be fun.

One of the little things we do to make toothbrushing more fun is have a variety of brushes, green, blue, pink, electric versions, manual versions, various characters, etc. I only bring two out at a time to keep the choice simple and switch them up every now and again. We even use a wash cloth wrapped around my finger at times.

Some other ways to maintain connection while toothbrushing:

• Explain about food sticking to teeth. We've even made a game of what types of food we need to brush off our teeth from what we've eaten that day.
• Be very precise with your words and let them know exactly what to do with the brush. Children are very literal with language.
• Model, model, model. Make sure child sees you brushing, as children want to be like those they are attached to.
• Avoid power struggles. When a power struggle seem eminent and your child is a heavy sleeper, or during a phase of heavy sleep, you can use a washcloth or one of those rubber finger brushes and swipe around in the child's mouth.
• Remember that resistance is often a phase, if we don't make it an issue.

Just in case you are wondering, Ariella definitely isn't this excited every day when it comes to toothbrushing.

I just thought it was a great photo op--one of those hundreds of funny and ironic things kid's do sometimes and rarely do we have the camera ready.

BTW, Your $5 off Coupon Code is KEY for Tomorrow Night's Workshop (Click here for the details)

Tags: Young Chidren, NYC Parenting workshops, Parenting tips, Parenting toddlers, Parenting help

by Rosie Blitchington Centeno


"key of life" through james carter's lens: "The key to the door
of the temple at Abu Simbel, Egypt."

Cooperation does seem like a secret at times, doesn't it? An elusive one.
How can we get more cooperation in our relationships, especially with children?

Well, in my New Strengthening Family Connections Workshops (what I call my NYC Parenting and Communication Workshops) I'm going to break it down and show you exactly HOW.

Let me give you a morsel or two, or three so you'll have an idea of what you are in for. here goes...

K is for Knowledge. Knowledge opens soooo many doors in life, so that's where we'll begin. I've planned some hands-on work (work that feels a lot like fun) with my Whole Child Model.™ Guaranteed to increase the knowledge in your head as well as in your heart.

E is for Empathy. Speaking of the heart, this is where we'll really start focusing on it. Absolutely every child (and person) needs someone who is sensitive to what they are going through, no matter what it is. We'll talk about the three most important elements of empathy and what to do when things are heating up and parents are too taxed to give.

Y is for YES! Say "YES" as much as possible, even when it is necessary to say "No." So we've now worked our way down to the topic of control. Here we'll look what to do when we've accepted that parental control is an illusion, as well as counterproductive, and that what children really need is parental connection. Well, what the heck does that look like, you ask? I'll show you next tuesday.

See you then at 6:15 PM or at Metrominis (date and time TBA).

Stay tuned for your discount coupon in the next few days...

Tags: Parenting help, Parenting tips, NYC Parenting workshops, Leadership through love, Communication

by Rosie Blitchington Centeno

Today, Monday, was a day for dawdling around here. Sunday may work too, or any other day. Whatever it takes, just dawdle. It does wonders for relationships. No pressure. No frustration. No meltdowns (for me) over the amount of time it takes to put on a sock. Well, actually, to catch the foot for the sock.

Instead lots of time for hugs, kisses, laughs, silliness and just smelling the daffodils.

"learn the language of things" --froebel

Dawdling is a fun-sounding word, isn't it? Heard it at David Elkind's lecture on Saturday at the New York Public Library and haven't been able to get it out of my mind. I figured it must be time to do more of it. Elkind, Professor Emeritus at Tufts University, wrote the acclaimed book The Hurried Child. (See Meta-Dad's interview with Elkind on his latest book: The Power of Play)

Elkind likened children's dawdling to adults going to a far-away country. Can you imagine being mesmerized by all sorts of aromatic smells, fascinating textures and intriguing sights and sounds while someone (like a brusque tourist-intolerant New Yorker) behind you hurries you along, constantly interrupting, criticizing and insinuating that you are wrong by your very nature? Not very easy to have a respectful relationship with that going on.

All of this and most of us haven't even left the house. Dawdling can be a real button pusher whenever we want or need to move on, to get somewhere in adult time.

What to do?

• Start out small with an hour or two.
• Give as much as we can by simplifying our lives and making space for dawdling and just being together. Call it an investment, if you will. An investment in our relationships and an investment in our children's education. They need and want it a lot more than the latest toy we think will teach them all about the world.
• Create a relationship that is based on respect for children--for their needs, feelings and thoughts. When we have this, we build trust with the child. Then, when we really need to move more quickly, they'll be more likely to cooperate with that busy New Yorker that is inside most of us.

Tags: Young Chidren, Parenting toddlers, Parenting tips, Joy, Parenting perspectives, Communication, Leadership through love