How To Get Kids To Eat Well
as happy as a kid in a cabbage patch?
I have been thinking of writing a post on kids and eating and then changed my mind as it seemed like a tangent away from my focus. But guess what? A recently released research study proved that it is right on topic.
They found the indicator for having kids who eat well was modeling the behavior. That's right--It's not a free-for-all permissiveness, where kids eat whatever they want when they want nor is it authoritarian control, which they describe as "banning certain foods, for instance, or using pressure to get them to eat fruits and vegetables."
The most effective way for parents to have kids who learn how to eat healthful diets is to set some limits and eat that way themselves.
This is somewhat intuitive if you know about how children learn everything in life and how they develop and bond to their caregivers. But some of us, who weren't raised that way, sometimes need to reprogram ourselves, especially with media and many of the people around us unaware of these dynamics.
Let me tell you--I did not learn how to eat healthy from my family or culture. But I decided to reprogram myself and then give my child the advantage of growing up that way, because I knew how challenging it was to overcome eating habits learned in childhood.
Some ideas I use from my child's babyhood on:
- Believe It is possible for kid's to learn to eat well and enjoy it.
- Connect with child while providing food. To create pleasant eating experiences feed children while touching, making eye contact, smiling and a slight "yes" nod of the head. Humans are social and the sharing and giving of food is a nurturing behavior and a basic way to create a bond with a child.
- Make sure you offer hugs or other forms of nurturing to a child who is upset instead of always offering food.
- Use very little processed foods. For us, this included commercial baby foods and many of the prepared snacks that are common to give babies, toddlers and kids. And no, I didn't elaborately prepare my own baby food. While I hold that as a lovely idea, it just wasn't high on my priority list as a single mom with the resources available to me. What I did was get a bit creative using the foods that I ate myself, which could be prepared baby and toddler. And I trusted my baby to explore food and eat as her body told her to without me forcing or cajoling.
- Use food with very little additives. Become a label reader to avoid chemicals and especially high fructose corn syrup.
- Use food that is as close to natural state as possible as snacks. Broccoli florets, carrot sticks, edamame, hard-boiled eggs, corn on the cob (cooked or raw), cherry tomatoes, skinless and boneless sardines, watermelon, etc...
- Take those snacks outside. Often kids will eat foods outside that they won't consider at the table.
- Use very little processed sugar. I'm always looking for alternatives. There are a lot out there. (Look for my next post for some great summer ideas)
Flowers for You On Mother's Day
wisteria blooming in inwood, just for you
I wrote the piece below last year on Mother's Day. Since we are experiencing a childcare challenge right now, I thought I would share it while putting my Simplify, Simplify, Simplify Tool to use.
Anytime families face challenges, transitions and/or any other issues that can set them whirling out of success, The Simplify Tool is the first one to pull out of the box. (Also, I wanted you to know what's going on so you would know I haven't been ignoring you. I've been itching to post, so it hasn't been from lack of desire that I've been absent.)
And I want to appreciate all of my amazing mommy friends who have been supporting me now and in the past when I have been in similar situations. May you all and everyone reading have a joyful Mother's Day, regardless of circumstance!
MOTHER'S DAY
2007
I spent my Mother's
Day alone with my 15-month old daughter and I loved
it.
In fact, this experience turned around my idea of
what Mother's Day is all about. I guess I'd never
really thought about it before, but just sort fell in
with the notion that Mother's Day was when moms don't
cook, wash dishes, feed the cat, feed the fish, feed
the kids, etc. Instead, family takes care of that
stuff and mother receives.
That wasn't my experience today. My daughter is my
family and while she does feed me by shoving veggie
booty in my mouth when
she decides I should
have some, its not quite the same as the receiving of
a meal.
Today I "chopped wood and carried water" (as in
“Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After
enlightenment; chop wood, carry water” the Zen
proverb that speaks to changes in perception and
finding inner peace in the mundane). I've had a
change of heart about what I value in a Mother's Day
celebration.
Instead of being on the receiving end of gratitude
for all that I do as a mom, I gave thanks for the
opportunity to be a gentle, loving, empathetic
mother. I decided to enjoy every mundane moment, and
there are quite a few in the life of single mother
and young child.
I have so much joy in my heart that my child is in my
life, though my intention had been to give her (and
myself) a different family experience. Regardless, I
spent the day in gratitude and joy. That doesn't mean
that I denied the sadness, just that I can
acknowledge it, provide myself with empathy and then
move on to enjoy every minute of mothering this
precious being who has joined me.
In doing so, I model for her, as Magical Child
author Joseph Chilton Pearce said, by becoming
the kind of person I want her to be.
The Joy of Celebration
early afternoon easter sun. late afternoon shadows in bruce's gardern.
I absolutely adore celebrations. Not only do they provide an opportunity to put my creativity to work on more focused level, now that I am a parent, they also allow me to give to my daughter in a more profound way than I do in the everyday.
Celebrations serve to pass on culture and values to children. Since I am committed to living consciously, I want to make sure that I am making choices in my family, as well as in all areas of my life, that are in-line with my values and beliefs, to make sure that I am living authentically. This is a premise of Life Coaching and one reason that I was drawn to it. I enjoy supporting others in identifying their goals and values and designing their lives according to them. It is all too common to get caught up in everyday pressures, as well as pressures others impose on us, and before we are aware of it, we aren't living authentically. Nor are we parenting authentically.
While I value these more serious elements of celebrations, which include connecting with our own parenting beliefs, connecting with each other and with the transitions of the life, I also believe they are a time to have fun and enjoy each other. That just feels good! And bear with me a moment while I circle back to the previous point, we all learn best when we are having fun. (That's why I make sure my NYC Parenting and Family Workshops are fun, while I'm presenting material that is serious in nature.)
With this commitment to authenticity in mind, I prepared a Easter and Welcoming Spring Celebration with my toddler.
To honor my desire to keep our food as healthful and chemical-free as possible, we went the natural route described on Slashfood when dyeing our Easter Eggs. We used frozen blueberries, one of Ariella's favorite foods. Along with two tsp. of white vinegar, we put them in a pot with just enough water to cover the uncooked eggs.
This dyeing technique was a toddler's dream--sticking her hands in a pot full of purple water and squeezing each of the berries until the juice popped. Below is a photo of the eggs, which will give you an idea as to the actual colors they took on, after boiling for fifteen minutes and then sitting in the water for about two hours. Keep in mind I used brown eggs from the farmer's market, each with its own "imperfection."
the beauty of natural imperfection
Originally, we planned to draw on the eggs with our Stockmar beeswax crayons, but the eggs were so striking that we held off.
While Ariella slept, I placed them on the table with all of the other Spring Bounty: a wooden bowl full of Clementines, a plant that Ariella picked out for herself called pocketbook flower, and a basket full of some of her other favorites, including grapes, plastic eggs with balls inside, bubbles and almond cupcakes with Cacao Bliss icing. And a stuffed bunny acting as a sentinel to keep Kitty away.
The next morning, I was behind the scenes, as we parents often are, quietly experiencing a heart filled with the joy of giving and watching with wonder at my child's discoveries.
Later we took the baskets out for our picnic and the Easter bunny made off with the eggs, hiding them at the base of a copse of trees. After we found them, we went looking for that mischievous bunny, who left his ears behind.
i heard he went that-a-way, around the corner!
I'd love to hear how all of you celebrate. I invite you to share in the comments section below: